Maxwell's Silver Hammer
by MarineMagicianKoori
Summary: Maxwell Edison seemed like an ordinary college ham-human; getting good grades, going on dates. However, he has one deadly secret involving his shiny silver hammer...Based on the Beatles song "Maxwell's Silver Hammer." Rated M for blood and death.
1. Joan

I feel kind of badly for posting an M rated fic in the Hamtaro catergory (hehe, 'gory'). Guess that shows how messed up I am. Anyway! I didn't want to call this a song fic because it's not formatted like any other song fic I've read, but it does have some of the lyrics quoted directly. This story will probably be more enjoyable if you know the song, but it's still understandable if you haven't. However, if some of the lines sound weird, it's probably because it was taken from the song. I hope you enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hamtaro or any of it's characters. I also don't own the song Maxwell's Silver Hammer or any other song by the Beatles.

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><p>Sandy Joan Tigre was a very quizzical human ham-ham and studied pataphysical science in the morning at the local university. It was currently 6 p.m. and she was sitting all alone in her room examining her test tube for the Science Fair coming up.<p>

Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine at the same university as Sandy, called Sandy just then.  
>"Bang, Bang, Maxwell's Silver Hammer came down..." a creepy jingle echoed through her room as Sandy looked down at the Caller I.D. on her phone. She smiled softly. Sandy had had a crush on Maxwell for a long time. Maxwell had been acting a bit weirdly lately, but she was still glad to hear from him.<br>"Hello?" Sandy asked as she picked up her phone.  
>"Why hello Sandy!" Maxwell's deep voice sounded out of the speaker. "I was wondering if I could take you out to the theater tonight Jo-o-o-oan?" Sandy rolled her eyes while mentally covering her shock at how bluntly he put it. Maxwell always loves to bug her about her middle name because he knows she hates it. Still, she couldn't stop the fluttering that she felt in her stomach.<br>"S-sure Maxwell." Sandy replied, glad that he couldn't see the flush on her face.  
>"Great!" Maxwell's voice held a smile. "I'll pick you up at your dorm at 9 then? I hope you don't mind a late movie."<br>"It's fine Maxwell, I guess I'll see you at 9! Bye!" Sandy hung up and whooped with glee. A date with Maxwell, finally! She had been waiting for him to ask her out for far too long. When did Maxwell get so bold anyway? Sandy looked at the clock and decided to quickly finish her experiment before getting ready.  
>It was not 8 p.m. and Sandy was picking out what she would wear. But as she's getting ready to go, a knock came on the door. Panicky that it was probably Maxwell and she wasn't ready, Sandy rushed to the door (after tripping over her slightly cold feet). She threw open the door and indeed saw Maxwell. However, there was a weird look on his face, he was dressed slovenly, and he was carrying a silver hammer for some reason...<br>"Maxwell?..." Sandy started uncertainly. However, that would be the last word she ever said.

BANG BANG

Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head. Sandy's head caved in slightly and blood poured from her hair. Her eyes blurred and she barely saw Maxwell raise the blood-stained hammer again; a maniacal smile on his face.

BANG BANG

Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead. Sandy fell tragically to the floor in front of the man she had liked for so long. Maxwell hadn't cared that they had been friends for years. He only cared about the pleasure it brought him to murder, the lovely sheen of the blood on his hammer. Maxwell laughed a bit, but only a bit for fear that others might hear. His craving for blood now satisfied, Maxwell headed home, intending to actually go and see that movie after he dropped off his precious hammer.  
>Sandy's discarded body remained in the doorway, the carpet around her deformed head stained red. If she had been alive, she would have wondered why he attacked her. The sad truth was that it was mere coincidence. Sandy had been the first to pick up her phone.<p> 


	2. Teacher

A couple of days had passed since Sandy was killed. A wave of fear drowned the university, enhance by the fact that the killer hadn't been caught. This had added to Maxwell's already huge ego and was now so confident that he couldn't be caught that he started to carry his silver hammer in his bag.

And now, back in school again after the brief hiatus to investigate the murder, Maxwell was acting like a fool again. He had become a notorious class clown recently. The teacher, Ms. Viv, got annoyed but wished to avoid an unpleasant scene. She told Maxwell to stay when the class had gone away, so he waited behind. She forced him to write 50 times "I must not be so..." and filling in the end with an adjective that described his actions. Maxwell ran out of ending after 10. Obviously, this kind of punishment was very frustrating. As Maxwell felt his anger curdle in his stomach, his mind wandered to his polished silver hammer...

Ms. Viv had been watching his struggle when she heard the chiming of one of her favorite Beatles songs. She went to answer her phone as Paul McCartney sang about one very naughty boy named Maxwell. But when she turned her back on the boy, he crept up from behind.

BANG BANG

Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head. Her small red hat and glasses went flying as she hit the floor heavily. She only had time to utter a small cry before Maxwell struck again.

BANG BANG

With a ringing finish, Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead. As the blood slowly dripped off of the stained silver, Maxwell calmed down enough for fear to strike him. He didn't kill very often, only when the urge was too strong, and he normally was careful to make sure he wouldn't be discovered. However, Ms. Viv had just pushed him too far and Maxwell visibly trembled as he glanced up at the security camera trained on him. He staggered backwards and, finding his arms too weak to hold it, dropped his beloved silver hammer. The clattering of it hitting the ground shoved him back into cruel reality. Maxwell panicked and ran, shoving past random students who shrieked in alarm at his brain-splattered sleeves.


	3. Judge

The door to the courtroom banged open as P.C. (Police Chief) 31 dragged Maxwell in. It hadn't taken long for Maxwell to get caught and he was still in shock from it.  
>P.C. 31 says "We caught a dirty one" to the judge and he roughly shoved Maxwell to the front. Maxwell stood alone. He painted testimonial pictures as Bijou and Pashmina screamed from the gallery that Maxwell must go free.<br>"Maxwell must go free!" The judge glares at them. He doesn't agree and he tells them so.  
>"This man is a killer! We have video proof and autopsies to prove that he murdered his professor and Sandra Tigre! I'm going to lock him up for so long that the world will end before he sees light again!" Judges should really act more impartial.<br>Maxwell's eye's widened. Bijou and Pashmina's screams of protest couldn't reach his ears through the low buzzing that overtook his senses. He couldn't be locked up! He wouldn't let them! Maxwell's frantic thoughts slowly festered inside of him as his eyes alighted on the evidence table. On that shiny, silver hammer...  
>The judge's verdict is just leaving his lips when a noise comes from behind. He turns and his eyes widen in horror as a streak of silver heads directly towards the bridge of his nose.<p>

BANG BANG

Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon his head. An eyeball was forced deep into it's socket and a strangled coughing noise left the man's throat. Paying no heed to the cries of horror from the gallery and the yelling of the guards, Maxwell raised his hammer again.

BANG BANG

Certain to make it his last act before his imprisonment, Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that he was dead. Maxwell knew there was no escape from the guards surrounding him, so he just closed his eyes and drank in the feeling of the kill, the vibrations that had ran up his arm when his hammer struck it's target. Before he knew it, a maniacal laugh burst from his throat. Maxwell just stood there, laughing until he lost his voice, while the guards shackled him and dragged him away. Maxwell didn't know what was in store for him and he didn't care. Though, as an afterthought, he wondered what would happen to his silver hammer.  
>For he was a silver hammer man after all.<p>

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><p>Well, this ended up being more bloody than I intended it to be. I was going to make the judge death more graphic, but just writing the eyeball part made me shudder...But I hope you liked it anyway! Sorry that it was so short; I'm not good at writing long stories. I just wanted to write it because this is one of my favorite songs by the Beatles and I wanted more people to have heard about it.<p>

~Nite Koori


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